Things My Mother Taught Me

This month is dedicated to celebrating women. I realize not everyone who reads this is a woman, but you probably have at least one woman in your life—a mother, your spouse or girlfriend, or a daughter. But whether or not you’re a woman, this fun little piece made me chuckle, and I thought you would get a kick out of it too.

Things My Mother Taught Me . . .

To Value a Job Well Done

“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”

All about Time Travel

“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”

Logic

“Because I said so, that’s why.”

Foresight

“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

Irony

“Keep crying and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

Osmosis

“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”

Stamina

“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”

Weather

“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”

Hypocrisy

“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”

Circle of Life

“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”

Behavior Modification

“Stop acting like your father!”

Thankfulness

“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”

Anticipation

“Just wait until we get home.”

Receiving

“You are going to get it when you get home!”

Medical Science

“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.”

How to Become an Adult

“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”

Wisdom

“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”

Justice

“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.”

—Author Unknown

Posted in Humour, Parenting, Women.

Colleen Swindoll Thompson holds a bachelor of arts degree in Communication from Trinity International University as well as minors in psychology and education. Colleen serves as the director of Reframing Ministries at Insight for Living Ministries. From the personal challenges of raising a child with disabilities (her son Jonathan), Colleen offers help, hope, and a good dose of humour through speaking, writing, and counselling those affected by disability. Colleen and her husband, Toban, have five children and reside in Frisco, Texas.

కొలీన్ స్విన్డాల్ థాంప్సన్ ట్రినిటీ ఇంటర్నేషనల్ విశ్వవిద్యాలయం నుండి కమ్యూనికేషన్‌లో బ్యాచిలర్ ఆఫ్ ఆర్ట్స్ డిగ్రీతో పాటు మనోవిజ్ఞానశాస్త్రము మరియు ఎడ్యుకేషన్లో అనుబంధ జ్ఞానం కలిగి ఉన్నారు. కొలీన్ ఇన్సైట్ ఫర్ లివింగ్ వద్ద రిఫ్రామింగ్ మినిస్ట్రీస్ డైరెక్టరుగా పనిచేస్తున్నారు. దివ్యాంగుడైన పిల్లవాడిని (ఆమె మూడవ బిడ్డ, యోనాతాను) పెంచే వ్యక్తిగత సవాళ్ళ దగ్గర నుండి, కొలీన్ సహాయం, నిరీక్షణ మరియు వైకల్యంతో బాధపడుతున్నవారికి మాటలతో, వ్రాతలతో మరియు సలహా ఇవ్వడంతో మంచి హాస్యాన్ని అందిస్తుంది. కొలీన్ మరియు ఆమె భర్త, టోబన్ కు ఐదుగురు పిల్లలు ఉన్నారు. వారు టెక్సాస్ లోని ఫ్రిస్కోలో నివసిస్తున్నారు.